it's over..

I'm not going to sms him anymore...
I told him on my last sms that I wont budge him again...

and you know what?

IT HURTS!
IT HURTS SO MUCH THAT I CRIED BY MYSELF!
(Quietly off course, I dont want Mommy knows about this)

But..
oh my..
I'm still hoping him to be mine.

We've known each other ever since we were baby, even before we were born.
as our mothers are best friends eversince before they married.
Our fathers become best friends too...
He and his family moved to Kalimantan when we were 3 years old and havent met till we were 16 years old.

I've loved him ever since we've met for the second time.
It's been ten misrable years to hide my feeling towards him.

I ... feel sad and empty right now...
But, I'll be fine as usual...